Jane Austen: Love and Money

The Jane Austen 10 pound note was introduced in 2017

It's quite fitting that Jane Austen graces British money. Money was, after all, as much a major theme in her novels as love. That is what accounts for Auden's account of why he finds the novelist too intimidating a writer to write to:

 

Extracts from WH Auden's "Letter to Lord Byron"

There is one other author in my pack:

For some time I debated which to write to.

Which would be least likely to send my letter back?

But I decided I'd give a fright to

Jane Austen if I wrote when I had no right to,

and share in her contempt the dreadful fates

Of Crawford, Musgrave, and Mr. Yates.

You could not shock her more than she shocks me;

Besides her Joyce seems innocent as grass.

It makes me uncomfortable to see

An English spinster of the middle class

Describe the amorous effects of `brass',

Reveal so frankly and with such sobriety

The economic basis of society.

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Readers (and viewers) of Pride and Prejudice can't help but be struck by how everyone seems to know a person's net worth. Even before we encounter Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy directly, we know that the former has 4,000 pounds a year, less than half of the 10,000 a year ascribed to the master of Pemberly.  But it is in Sense and Sensibility that Austen is at her most incisive about the role money plays in people's lives and mocks those who say they disdain "wealth" while assuming a large sum as a bare minimum.

In chapter 17, the two sisters discuss wealth versus competence, starting with Marianne's question:

“What have wealth or grandeur to do with happiness?”

“Grandeur has but little,” said Elinor, “but wealth has much to do with it.”

“Elinor, for shame!” said Marianne, “money can only give happiness where there is nothing else to give it. Beyond a competence, it can afford no real satisfaction, as far as mere self is concerned.”

“Perhaps,” said Elinor, smiling, “we may come to the same point. Your competence and my wealth are very much alike, I dare say; and without them, as the world goes now, we shall both agree that every kind of external comfort must be wanting. Your ideas are only more noble than mine. Come, what is your competence?”

“About eighteen hundred or two thousand a year; not more than that.”

Elinor laughed. “Two thousand a year! One is my wealth! I guessed how it would end.”

“And yet two thousand a-year is a very moderate income,” said Marianne. “A family cannot well be maintained on a smaller. I am sure I am not extravagant in my demands. A proper establishment of servants, a carriage, perhaps two, and hunters, cannot be supported on less.”

Marrying for money does work out for some 

Marianne is correct in her estimate of the minimal income requires to maintain Willoughby's lifestyle. He does enjoy the good life and hunting, which is exactly why he ends up marrying Miss Sophia  Grey who has 50,000 pounds of her own. 

That level of wealth certainly makes up for her being not as much to his taste as Marianne is, particularly when he is disinherited by Mrs. Smith for having impregnated Eliza and refusing to marry her. Austen makes a point of saying that the wicked aren't punished in her novel, and Willoughby does enjoy his lifestyle. 

The final chapter of the book assures us that even if he regretted the loss of Marianne,  we should not assume Willoughby's life was one of suffering:

But that he was for ever inconsolable, that he fled from society, or contracted an habitual gloom of temper, or died of a broken heart, must not be depended on—for he did neither. He lived to exert, and frequently to enjoy himself. His wife was not always out of humour, nor his home always uncomfortable; and in his breed of horses and dogs, and in sporting of every kind, he found no inconsiderable degree of domestic felicity.

Similarly, Lucy Steele enjoys her advancement in jilting Edward Ferrars for his brother once their mother conferred the income that should have gone to the eldest on Robert:

The whole of Lucy’s behaviour in the affair, and the prosperity which crowned it, therefore, may be held forth as a most encouraging instance of what an earnest, an unceasing attention to self-interest, however its progress may be apparently obstructed, will do in securing every advantage of fortune, with no other sacrifice than that of time and conscience.  

Where does one draw the line between mercenary and prudent? 

Both Lucy Steele and Willoughby are clearly not models of behavior. That they achieve happiness of their own sort, Austen assures us, is due to the world not always living up to out expectations of fairness. However, the treatment of marrying for money is treated with more nuance in Pride and Prejudice.

Wickham, a character very much like Willoughby amuses himself with flirting with various women, including Elizabeth, until he shifts his attention to King, whose chief attraction is her 10,000 pounds. Elizabeth doesn't resent Willoughby's defection. She discusses this with her aunt, Mrs. Gardiner:

“Pray, my dear aunt, what is the difference in matrimonial affairs, between the mercenary and the prudent motive? Where does discretion end, and avarice begin? Last Christmas you were afraid of his marrying me, because it would be imprudent; and now, because he is trying to get a girl with only ten thousand pounds, you want to find out that he is mercenary.” 

Mrs. Gardiner had also warned Elizabeth not to get her hopes up for Col. Fitzwilliam. As a younger son, he admitted, he would be looking to ally himself with wealth, and Elizabeth, with no more than a thousand pounds to be settled on her, would also need to make a more advantageous match from a material point of view.

Charlotte Lucas offers yet another example of the difficulty in pinning down where discretion ends and avarice begins. Her marriage to Mr. Collins is completely motivated by material concerns. Though it gets subsumed under the main plot, one of the subplots of the novel is Elizabeth's coming to terms with her best friend's decision. She does turn away from her from a while but does comes to realize that Charlotte does make the best of things and is not unhappy.

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The value of beauty in hard currency

Charlotte recognizes that she has less appeal on the marriage market because of her lack of beauty, which is why, as a plain woman of 27 with no fortune of her own, she believes that this 25 year-old clergyman who stands to inherit Longbourn is really the best deal to which she can aspire. This calculus of what a woman's looks entitle her to expect is made explicit in Sense and Sensibility.

In Chapter 33, John Dashwood observes to Elinor how Marianne loss of beauty (at 17) will mar her marriage prospects:

 At her time of life, any thing of an illness destroys the bloom for ever! Hers has been a very short one! She was as handsome a girl last September, as I ever saw; and as likely to attract the man. There was something in her style of beauty, to please them particularly. I remember Fanny used to say that she would marry sooner and better than you did; not but what she is exceedingly fond of you, but so it happened to strike her. She will be mistaken, however. I question whether Marianne now, will marry a man worth more than five or six hundred a-year, at the utmost, and I am very much deceived if you do not do better. 

Related

Jane Austen and Autism

Jane Austen's Heroines

 Observations on Jane Austen's Emma

Love and Limerence in Jane Austen

Jane Austen at the Morgan

Three Janes, Two Governesses, and the Abolitionist Movement

Pride and Prejudice in Job Applications

Love and Limerence in Jane Austen

Imperfections make perfect matches compact mirror byTotally_Jane_Austen

"Men of sense do not want silly wives," Mr. Knightley tells Emma.

In context, the infallible Mr. Knightley is correct. Yet Emma is not wrong in her understanding that many men look only for beauty and agreeableness, qualities Harriet Smith certainly possesses.

Jane Austen's novels offer abundant proof of Emma's assumption holding true. One of them appears in Sense and Sensibility in the narrator's explanation of how Mr. Palmer' ended up with the irritatingly silly Charlotte: "through some unaccountable bias in favour of beauty, he was the husband of a very silly woman" He fell into the same trap that Mr. Bennet fell into and deals it in the same way -- by ignoring his wife as much as possible.

So what drives men of sense to marry silly wives? Or in the case of Mansfield Park, the question may be why do they marry women they are not fit for, as in the disastrous marriage of Mr. Rushworth to Maria Bertram? It's the same thing that drives women of virtue to fall for cads like Wickham, Willoughby.

Chemical reactions

They are taken in by good looks and a flirtatious charm. The response to that arouses sexual attraction, and that chemical reaction is what makes them fall into limerence. The term limerence was not around in Jane Austen's day, though she certainly showed understanding of what it was and how it alone was not a sufficient basis for a solid marriage.


John Gottman refers to limerence in several books and articles. To see it in brief, visit, Gottman 3 phases of love: " In 1979, Dorothy Tennov coined the term 'limerence' for the first stage of love, characterized by physical symptoms (flushing, trembling, palpitations), excitement, intrusive thinking, obsession, fantasy, sexual excitement, and the fear of rejection."


This, Gottman identifies as the "falling in love" stage of love. That is when one is convinced that they've found "the one" who is peerless and faultless. We see this in Marianne's instant attachment to Willoughby and her priding herself on not being constrained by conventional expectations for relationships because she believes her strong feelings equal complete knowledge of the other (Sense and Sensibility Ch. 12).


"You are mistaken, Elinor," said she warmly, "in supposing I know very little of Willoughby. I have not known him long indeed, but I am much better acquainted with him, than I am with any other creature in the world, except yourself and mama. It is not time or opportunity that is to determine intimacy;-- it is disposition alone. Seven years would be insufficient to make some people acquainted with each other, and seven days are more than enough for others.... of Willoughby my judgment has long been formed."

What accounts for this throwing all caution to the wind and believing only the best of the person one is attracted to is literally chemistry. Gottman cites Dr. Theresa Crenshaw’s book The Alchemy of Love and Lust, about what it takes to "set off the cascade of hormones and neurotransmitters that accompanies the exciting first phase of love."


Incidentally, for all those who think it's all about how a person looks, that's wrong. Appearances alone -- certainly when they are reduced to two dimension on a screen -- can never set off the potent mix of chemical involved in the feeling of attraction. It's not just looks but also how they physically fit, even how they smell.


Gottman lists some of the chemicals that send these limerence signals:

Phenyleteylamine (PEA) is a natural form of amphetamine our bodies produce and has been called “the molecule of love.”

Pheromones, produced from DHEA, influence sensuality rather than sexuality, creating an inexplicable sense of well-being and comfort.

Ocytocin has been called “the cuddle hormone.” It compels us to get close, and when we are feeling close (to anyone) we secrete it. It is secreted by the posterior pituitary gland, and stimulates the secretion of dopamine, estrogen, LHRH, and vasopressin.

We see exactly this experience happening for Marianne in her relationship with Willoughby. While we don't see it happening in the same way, Sense and Sensibility has Edward Ferrars relate that he had fallen into limerence when he became engaged to Lucy Steele. The feelings that overwhelm the person falling in love are "generally accompanied by poor judgment, so that people will ignore the red flags that they will inevitably confront," as Gottman puts it.

Chemistry alone doesn't cut it

However, Edward wakes up from his infatuation with Lucy after he meets Elinor and starts to realize that there really was nothing there for him besides the superficial attraction. He was attracted-- not unlike Mr. Palmer -- to a woman with some prettiness who knew enough to gain a man's interest. But over four years and seeing another woman who is so much her superior, Edward falls out of limerence and only keeps up the engagement out of a deep sense of honor (watch for another blog on that).

A Good Housekeeping article on romantic chemistry quotes Carrie Cole, M.Ed., L.P.C., research director and Gottman Master Trainer at The Gottman Institute. “Chemistry opens the door, but it’s what we do with it afterwards that determines whether the relationship will have any legs.” She goes on to explain, “chemistry and compatibility are two different things, and sometimes the people we feel an overwhelming attraction to are not right for us long-term."

The bad marriages we see in Austen and in real life are due to those people allowing themselves to marry the person they feel attracted to without thinking beyond that. Cole's quote applies perfectly to the Bennet's, Edward's mistake in Lucy Steele, and the mistake that Edmund Bertram makes about Mary Crawford:

"People can get into trouble by rushing to commit to someone when they prioritize chemistry over shared interests and values.”

Signs of true love as a basis for marriage

Austen is aware of the headiness of limerence and how it is what stirs some people to select someone that may not be approved of by others, though it can be the right choice. That's the story in Persuasion. Anne picked the right man in Frederick Wentworth but was warned off because lady Russel thought it was just an infatuation. Darcy picked the right woman in Elizabeth, but he had to realize that she was right not just because he is infatuated with her but because she is the choice of reason, as well as feeling.

Darcy wins Elizabeth in the same way that Col. Brandon wins Marianne -- not by arousing limerence but in jumping right to the second phase of love that Gottman identifies as building trust. When one can answer yes to the big questions like “Will you be there for me? Can I trust you?" you get a a strong foundation for a relationship.

Arriving at the yes there is not easy. That's why, Gottman explains, "Love in Phase 2 becomes punctuated by frustration, exasperation, disappointment, sadness." Elizabeth experiences that, as does Anne Elliot, Elinor Dashwood, and Fanny Price.

Building Commitment and Loyalty

Commitment and loyalty are the characteristics of  what Gottman identifies as the third phase of love. All of Austen's heroines get that with their choice of husbands. One of the important points that both Austen and Gottman make about keeping that relationship healthy is focusing on the positive rather than the hurt that one had experienced before. The difference between successful and unsuccessful relationships can  hinge on whether they opt for "cherishing one another and nurturing gratitude for what they have with their partner, or" choose to dwell on :resentment for what they think is missing."

Elizabeth laughs this off as having a poor memory, while Anne makes a point of having Wentworth see things from her point of view. He does and then admits his own blame in not having come back for her sooner out of a sense of pride (see Pride, Prejudice and Persuasion: Obstacles to Happiness in Jane Austen's Novels)


And it is very clear that Col. Brandon never blames Marianne for having preferred Willoughby to him, and their marriage is not about settling on her part but about her realizing that the final stages phase of love matter more than feeling swept off one's feet by limerence.

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Related: Jane Austen: Love and Money

Three Janes, Two Governesses
Observations on Jane Austen's Emma
Jane Austen and Autism

Jane Austen's Heroines

Pride, Prejudice and Persuasion: Obstacles to Happiness in Jane Austen's Novels

Pride and Prejudice in Job Applications
The Big Bow-wow & Bit of Ivory

Jane Austen and Autism

  

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A full eight years ago I wrote about introversion in Jane Austen's heroines here:  Jane Austen's heroines.  What was left out of that perspective was a consideration of introverted heroes. They include both Edward Ferrars and Colonel Brandon in Sense and Sensibility. But the most beloved introvert hero of all is Mr. Darcy of Pride and Prejudice.

Mr. Darcy exhibits such extreme introverted behavior in the earlier parts of the book that some readers interpret it as signs of being on the spectrum. I first came across that theory in a YouTube video. 

To be fair, it doesn't quite claim that Mr. Darcy is autistic but that what defines his comfort zone, as well as his way of thinking and responding to social and conversational cues really resonates with those who are neuroatypical. 

A few days after I happened across that video, I found the source of theory of Darcy as autistic in Deborah Yaffe's book Among the Janeites.  It stems from a speech therapist named Phyllis Ferguson Bottomer. Her inspiration was not the book itself but the A&E adaptation that she watched in 2002. She zeroed in on the important interaction in Ch. 31 in which Elizabeth relays her point of view of  Mr. Darcy's rudeness, and he explains himself:

“I certainly have not the talent which some people possess,” said Darcy,“of conversing easily with those I have never seen before. I cannot catch their tone of conversation, or appear interested in their concerns, as I often see done.”

Bottomer seized on the parallel between this explanation and how Temple Grandin explained her experienced her experience as an autistic in her autobiography: "I have always have a hard time fitting in with this rhythm."

Bottomer was so convinced that the novel portrayed people on the spectrum that she started presenting at Jane Austen conferences and wrote her own book on the subject: So Odd a Mixture: Along the Autistic Spectrum in 'Pride and Prejudice.'

I haven't read Bottomer's book, but I have read quite a number of books on introversion (see links below). I'm also an introvert myself and do understand the reluctance to make small talk and throw oneself into a dance when one is feeling not truly connected to those around one. 

Perhaps one would argue that introverts have some autistic tendencies, but one could just as well say that autistics have some introvert tendencies. In a Venn diagram, there would be an overlap between the two. Bearing that in mind, one need not conclude that anyone with those shared tendencies is necessarily on the spectrum, or that perhaps we should really normalize what is considered neuroatypical as typical because introverts do make up a substantial number of the population, as much as half, according to Laurie Helgoe. 

Whether one attributes Mr. Darcy's standoffishness to autistic tendencies or to a natural proclivity for introversion, the assumption Jane Austen and Elizabeth make is that it can be countered. In this key exchange, she likens conversational social skills to playing an instrument and so gently chides him by way of analogy: 

“My fingers,” said Elizabeth, “do not move over this instrument in the masterly manner which I see so many women’s do. They have not the same force or rapidity, and do not produce the same expression. But then I have always supposed it to be my own fault—because I will not take the trouble of practising. It is not that I do not believe my fingers as capable as any other woman’s of superior execution.”

Darcy takes this as her seeing a point of commonality between them, which makes him feel more at ease in her presence. Notice how often he responds to what she says with a smile, and this is one of those instances:

Darcy smiled and said, “You are perfectly right. You have employed your time much better. No one admitted to the privilege of hearing you can think anything wanting. We neither of us perform to strangers.”

He takes this to mean she understands them, but in truth she doesn't yet. That will take more time and more opening up on his end, risking vulnerability, which many introverts find extremely difficult. But that is the key to their whole relationship: Darcy has to overcome his natural inclination to connect with Elizabeth, and she has to let go of her extrovert assumption that she can take a full and accurate read on others instantly. They are the paradigm of a successful marriage of opposites.

See

The Marriage of Opposites

Happiness is

Perspectives on Introversions

The Great Introvert

Jane Austen: Love and Money

Love and Limerence in Jane Austen

Jane Austen at the Morgan
Three Janes, Two Governesses
Observations on Jane Austen's Emma

Jane Austen's Heroines

Pride, Prejudice and Persuasion: Obstacles to Happiness 

Pride and Prejudice in Job Applications
The Big Bow-wow & Bit of Ivory

Jane Austen's Heroines 

Jane Austen and Capability Brown